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Dec. 28th, 2005 | 10:33 pm

The only thing better than house shopping is ring shopping. Although that bit was easy, as Blaise and I both wanted him to have the same sort of ring he gave me.

Merlin! I'm getting married, bonded, whatever you want to call it. And yes, I feel like a twelve year old girl, but I don't care, I'm just that giddy about it. I get Blaise, I get Zia, I get the rest of Blaise's family. I get to live in a beautiful place that my fiance (I love saying that) loves. We've spent the last two weeks setting everything up so we can leave; taking care of property, hiring managers, dealing with stock. The best part is, Blaise and I can open businesses there and be close to Zia while we both do what we love.

We've getting bonded New Year's Eve. In Zia's garden. What could possibly be more perfect than that?

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Dec. 15th, 2005 | 11:46 am
mood: ecstaticecstatic

I'm so sodding happy. Blaise and I are going house shopping... in Italy! We'll be closer to Zia, and we'll have a house together, and he'd already been thinking about it so I didn't have to find a way to bring it up, and he wants me to go with him!

Gods, I'm such a twelve year old girl but... I'm going to be living with Blaise! Close to Zia! And we're going to pick out the house together. I'm so excited I can't even think. I can't wait to get started! Oh, and we're going to see Zia the week of Christmas and the week after.

God, I feel drunk I'm so happy. And we're going to dinner tonight, and he hasn't told me where, but I don't care. I love him, so very, very much.

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Dec. 5th, 2005 | 11:36 am

So much has happened since the last time I used this thing. Blaise came home convinced there was something going on with me and Harry. It took me a while to figure out what the hell was happening, longer than it took me to realise that no, I really wasn't hallucinating and that Blaise really was sitting on the couch in the flat. I'd had such a shit day, I was convinced I was seeing things when I walked into the flat. We worked it out though, and he's been exchaning owls with someone who's been watching Zia for him while he's gone.

Speaking of Zia, I've been thinking that maybe we need to be closer to her. That maybe, we ought to live there, or move her here. The one in Devon might be good. She'd have plenty of space to have her own set of gardens, and there's water close by. Not the ocean or anything, but she wouldn't be utterly landlocked. Or maybe we can live in one of the Longbottom properties. I haven't seen them all, but I think there are two others besides Longbottom Hall, and Merlin knows I can't live there.

Speaking of, I got an owl from Gran the other day. She acidentally included the copy of the letter the solicitors sent her. Seems the psychwitch found the remains of the Obliviate my gran used on me when I was a kid. I bet she's worried. I don't think she knows I know, and I'm not gonna tell her.

In any case, I get my inheritance today. I'll talk over the thing with Zia with Blaise when he gets home. Maybe we can go see my properties together.

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Nov. 6th, 2005 | 05:51 pm

I miss Blaise. I wonder if I should have told him about Gran, but Zia is sick, and she doesn't seem the sort to get ill often, and he's in Italy, so there's nothing he can really do, but Circe's tits do I miss him.

That bloody intern came by Friday. Like to drove me mad she did. And tomorrow... Merlin help me but tomorrow I get probed by a psychwith. I hate the very idea.

So I've been distracting myself. I've been house hunting. I found two I rather like, and I suppose I need to bring it up to Blaise soon, as I want to know which he'd prefer.

One is in Melrose, on the Scottish border. It's for lt just now as the owners don't live there. It's the same with the other, the one in Devon. I think I like that one better actually. More room for a garden, and things of that sort and well... I'm not sure really, but I do think I like it better. But really, I won't know which til I discuss it with Blaise.

I wish he were here. Or I were there. I could really use a cuddle just now.

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Nov. 3rd, 2005 | 09:00 am
mood: calmcalm

I love him so much. Gods, but I don't even want to think about what could have happened if we hadn't talked. I mean really talked. I guess... well, I reckon we both needed to know some things, and say some things. I'd hurt him and I hadn't even realised it. But I learned something. Expecting him to do something and not saying anything is stupid and dangerous for our relationship. He can't read minds, anymore than I can. So... I think - no I know - that I need to tell him what's on my mind. And I have to remember he's never done this before. Hell, I haven't done this before, not like this. Not real, and vital and so damned important. Like breathing.

I'm worried. I haven't heard from Gran. She's planning something, I know it. And I know it's going to be bad. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

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Oct. 30th, 2005 | 09:27 am

It's been odd, the last couple of days. I keep waiting to hear from Gran, waiting to see what she plans to do next. She has to know I've not left Blaise, or asked him to leave. It's not like her to be so... silent.

Blaise and I... well, things have been a bit odd there as well, and I rather suspect that's my fault really. We've been... together but not. That doesn't make much sense really, but that's sort of how it feels. Only I don't know how to change it. I reckon worrying about it won't do much.

I don't know what's going on around or with me anymore.

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Oct. 25th, 2005 | 10:10 am

So we made up. Well, sort of anyway. I mean, we're good, but... well, my feelings are still hurt, silly as that is. I can understand the whole Slytherins fighting bits, but it also seemed like I was supposed to just... I dunno, be all excited and happy when I didn't know why he did what he did. I mean, I'm not Slytherin. I don't think along the same lines. Am I just supposed to know when something is a Slytherin thing?

I just... I hate fighting. And I don't want to bring it up in case it starts another one.

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Oct. 23rd, 2005 | 09:07 pm

We had a fight, Blaise and I. He left before I could, and all I could think was that I should have left once I'd gotten dressed the way I'd planned on doing instead of staying there. I don't even know what I was hoping for really, what I thought would happen if I stayed. I dunno, I reckon I thought he'd apologise, or take it back somehow. Stupid really.

I left after he did, determined not to come back to the flat. But I've been out all day and... well, I suppose I was thinking that maybe if I came home, he'd be here and we could talk. I hate fighting. I always have. I particularly hate fighting with Blaise.

But he wasn't here. He's still not. And if I've driven him off, it's no one's fault but my own really. I hadn't planned to come home until tomorrow sometime when I left, and look at me, home hoping he'll come back. Pathetic.

It's just, how can something so so huge, something that had the potential to do so much damage, possibly not concern me? That's like saying if someone forcibly took over my business, or burned one to the ground, that wouldn't concern him.

Fuck it. Pitiful and pathetic as it is, I know I won't sleep if he's not here. Not without some sort of artificial help. I think there's still a bottle of Ice Vodka in the kitchen.

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Oct. 17th, 2005 | 06:40 pm

Wow. Blaise is... I'm so lucky. I can't imagine my life without him in it.

It seems the only day we really get to spend together anymore is Sunday, and I'm so jealous of that time with him I close the Floo and ward against owls. Just for Sunday. I haven't told him that it sounds so... girly when I say it. Hell, when I write it even.

A month of Sundays. In Italy. Merlin that would be perfect. I'd have a lifetime of Sundays with him if he'll let me. Always he said. Always sounds just about right. It's what I want above anything else, always with Blaise.

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Oct. 12th, 2005 | 10:03 pm

So much has happened since the last time I wrote in here. I got to see Blaise's shoppe. It's gorgeous. A total reflection of the talented, beautiful and complex man he is. It's well organised, and the fixtures are to die for. I have to admit, as much as I loved his shoppe, my favorite room is the back one where he works.

We rarely see each other. We're both so busy now. I think if it weren't for the fact I wake up with him every morning, I'd think him a beautiful dream. I'm more determined than ever to bring Zia Rosa here for the hols. Which means I need to find a way to bring up house hunting.

Some other things happened as well. They found him. Roland. Blaise was there, and Dung came by to tell me about it. Then I read in the Prophet he'd been arrested. I'm glad. It's one less thing for me to worry about now. It's over. Finally.

And the imporatnt thing, the best part, is that I have a man who loves me enough to hunt a criminal with me. I'm never letting him go.

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